I wonder what emotions the cradle would inspire if we could stand beside it and remember all that it held for us? Does returning to beginning places always engender the sensations of history returning, the light and the dark intermingled in an inexplicable interplay of ‘what once was’?
It’s been nearly three years since my last show in Cape Town, and I am feeling incredibly excited as well as -surprisingly- afraid to be playing here again!
I know where the excitement is rooted: seeing familiar faces I love so well; playing in the city I’m from; bringing back new songs to the people who’ve supported me from before I was playing professionally; reconnecting with all that birthed me.
So where the fuck is this fear coming from? I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and have realised some old patterns are arising. Fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear that no one will come to my show, fear that no one really cares about me or my art. All the fears which kept me from committing to my passion for so long, ‘in case I fail’. Isn’t that incredible, that the fear of failure can cause us to fail? The self-fulfilling prophecy, if we let it be. It’s amazing, that just returning here brings all the old rising back again. Another opportunity to grow, let go and re-educate my inner critic.
So, fuck it, I see the fear, I accept it, and I’m DOING IT ANYWAY!
Come share a show with me Cape Town, I have missed you!
PS: the event is being run by City Soiree and tickets are on early bird pricing and are LIMITED, so please book NOW: http://citysoiree.co.za/events/nate-maingard/
PPS: the show only happens if we sell at least 40 tickets. ‘SHUTUP DEMONS we’re totally gonna sell forty tickets!’
PPPS: Please shaaaare 🙂
photo at the top is me and my sister in Cape Town, 2012!